Hamlet in a Nutshell.

FUN WITH HAMLET AND HIS FRIENDS
(Diction & Syntax Courtesy of Dick & Jane)

See the man. What a funny man. His name is Hamlet. He is a prince. He is sad. Why are you sad, Hamlet?

"I am sad for my father has died," says Hamlet. "My father was the king."

"Where are you going, Hamlet?"

"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.
On the way he meets a ghost. "Where are you going?" asks the ghost.
"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.

"Boo, boo," says the ghost.

"What is your name, you silly ghost?" asks Hamlet, clapping his hands.

"I am your father," says the ghost. "I was a good king. Uncle Claudius is a bad king. He gave me poison. Would you like poison?"

"Oh, no," says Hamlet. "I would not like poison."

"Will you avenge me, Hamlet?" asks the ghost.

"Oh yes," says Hamlet. "I will avenge you. What fun it will be to avenge you."

On the way, he meets a girl. "Where are you going?" asks the girl.

"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.

"Ha, ha," says the girl.

"What is your name?" asks Hamlet.

"My name is Ophelia," says Ophelia. "I laugh because you are a schizophrenic. Are you not a schizophrenic?"

"I am not a schizophrenic," says Hamlet, laughing and clapping his hands. "I pretend that I am a schizophrenic. I pretend for I want to fool my uncle. What fun it is to pretend I am a schizophrenic."

See Hamlet run. Run, Hamlet, run. He is going to his mother's room.

"I have something to tell you, mother," says Hamlet. "Uncle Claudius is bad. He gave my father poison. Poison is not good. I do not like poison. Do you like poison?"

"Oh, no, indeed!" says his mother. "I do not like poison."

"Oh, there is Uncle Claudius," says Hamlet. "He is hiding behind the curtain. Why is he hiding behind the curtain? Shall I stab him? What fun it would be to stab him through the curtain."

See Hamlet draw his sword. See Hamlet stab. Stab, Hamlet, stab. See Uncle Claudius' blood. See Uncle Claudius' blood gushing. Gush, blood, gush. See Uncle Claudius fall. How funny he looks stabbed. Ha, ha, ha. But it is not Uncle Claudius. It is Polonius. Polonius is Ophelia's father. What fun Hamlet is having.

"You are naughty, Hamlet," says Hamlet's mother. "You have stabbed Polonius." But Hamlet's mother is not cross. She is a good mother. Hamlet loves his mother.

See Hamlet run. Run, Hamlet, run.

"Where are you going, Hamlet?"

"I am on my way to find Uncle Claudius," Hamlet says.
On the way he passes a brook. In the brook he sees Ophelia. Ophelia is drowning.

"Where are you going?" says Ophelia.

"I am going to find Uncle Claudius," says Hamlet.

"Glub, glub," says Ophelia.

On the way he meets a man. "Where are you going?" asks the man.

"I am going to find Uncle Claudius," Hamlet says.

"Oh, no! I am Laertes," says the man. "Let us draw our swords. Let us duel."

See Hamlet and Laertes duel. See Laertes stab Hamlet. See Hamlet stab Laertes. See Hamlet's mother drink poison. See Hamlet stab King Claudius. See everybody wounded and bleeding and dying and dead. What fun they are having! Wouldn't you like to have fun like that?"