A slightly-paraphrased true story.
Jan. 23rd, 2004 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kageotogiMy brother is having his 14th birthday party today (his birthday is tomorrow... The same day as ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fookme's!). I was downstairs helping serve cake and the phone rang. Being the only one within reach of the phone, I picked it up and it was Brad! Hi, Brad! *waves*
Anyway, he called me from a friend's house because he got bored. *giggle* Dork.
While I was talking to Brad, one of the eighth graders, Greg Wycoff, said something about "Your sister's here because she loves me!" To which I foolishly responded "Oh, yes, I love you ever so much! Give me ten minutes and I'll give you my heart in a box--just SHUT UP." This, of course, only made them all get louder.
Meanwhile, I'm talking to Brad and I mention the movie, Latter Days, that we were planning on taking him to see on his birthday but which he really doesn't want to see anyway. So I said something about "yes, I know you don't want to see the movie, but..." and Greg goes "Oooh, I'll go see it with you!!! I'd do anything for you, my love!"
At this point, my older-younger brother leans in and yells into the phone "Brad, she's in love with an eighth grader!" Brad didn't seem to realize that we were playing around and asked for verification. I replied negatory. More talking ensued and eventually Brad asked "What's going on over there?"
"Oh," I replied, "it's my brother's birthday party and I've apparently managed to become engaged to an eighth grader."
Behind me, Greg started to cheer. I could practically see the others planning his bachelor party; there would be DnD, Playstation, and computer games galore. I made a mental note to never speak again.
Brad was silent for a moment before inquiring: "Um... Isn't that illegal?"
"Yes, Brad, it is illegal."
Greg, overhearing this, nodded and stuffed another bite of cake into his mouth. "That's all right," he said. "I don't care if it is illegal--true love can triumph over anything."
"Yes," I said. "Sucks to be you."
Brad seemed satisfied with this response. "Well, watch out for those eighth graders. You know how horny they can be, right? Like rabbits."
"Really? How is that any different from the college kids?" I asked.
"There isn't much of a difference," Brad explained, "except their ding-dings aren't as good."
"I'll keep that in mind."
Greg immediately looked at me, confused. "You'll keep what in mind?"
"Shut up or else I'm going to call off the wedding."
Greg's eyes widened. "Okay." My older-younger brother pretended he was cracking a whip and Greg looked over at him as though he'd just grown another head. "You're just jealous that I'm marrying your sister and you're not."
At this point, I could no longer contain myself and broke out laughing. I'd already started laughing at various points in the conversation, much to Brad's confusion, but this was a round of full-blown side splitting laughter that literally brought tears to my eyes. Once I'd gotten ahold of myself, I wiped my eyes.
"At least I'm marrying a kid with a sense of humor," I commented. Then, realizing that my mother was tapping on her watch, her 'secret' signal that she needs the phone for something, Brad and I exchanged goodbyes and I hung up.
Greg looked at me. "Who was that?" he asked. "You're not cheating on me already, are you, my darling?"
"Sorry," I answered with a smile and a shrug of my shoulders, "I thought you knew!" That said, I turned on my heel and started to climb the stairs. "Oh," I called back, "when do you plan on taking me ring shopping? I'm expecting nothing less than five karots, you know, and I mean 'karots' with a k."
"For someone who loves to receive twenty-five cent jewelry straight out of a vending machine more than anything else in the world, you sure have become high maintenance," my father commented, overhearing this bit of the conversation.
I only smiled and walked away.
fookme's!). I was downstairs helping serve cake and the phone rang. Being the only one within reach of the phone, I picked it up and it was Brad! Hi, Brad! *waves*Anyway, he called me from a friend's house because he got bored. *giggle* Dork.
While I was talking to Brad, one of the eighth graders, Greg Wycoff, said something about "Your sister's here because she loves me!" To which I foolishly responded "Oh, yes, I love you ever so much! Give me ten minutes and I'll give you my heart in a box--just SHUT UP." This, of course, only made them all get louder.
Meanwhile, I'm talking to Brad and I mention the movie, Latter Days, that we were planning on taking him to see on his birthday but which he really doesn't want to see anyway. So I said something about "yes, I know you don't want to see the movie, but..." and Greg goes "Oooh, I'll go see it with you!!! I'd do anything for you, my love!"
At this point, my older-younger brother leans in and yells into the phone "Brad, she's in love with an eighth grader!" Brad didn't seem to realize that we were playing around and asked for verification. I replied negatory. More talking ensued and eventually Brad asked "What's going on over there?"
"Oh," I replied, "it's my brother's birthday party and I've apparently managed to become engaged to an eighth grader."
Behind me, Greg started to cheer. I could practically see the others planning his bachelor party; there would be DnD, Playstation, and computer games galore. I made a mental note to never speak again.
Brad was silent for a moment before inquiring: "Um... Isn't that illegal?"
"Yes, Brad, it is illegal."
Greg, overhearing this, nodded and stuffed another bite of cake into his mouth. "That's all right," he said. "I don't care if it is illegal--true love can triumph over anything."
"Yes," I said. "Sucks to be you."
Brad seemed satisfied with this response. "Well, watch out for those eighth graders. You know how horny they can be, right? Like rabbits."
"Really? How is that any different from the college kids?" I asked.
"There isn't much of a difference," Brad explained, "except their ding-dings aren't as good."
"I'll keep that in mind."
Greg immediately looked at me, confused. "You'll keep what in mind?"
"Shut up or else I'm going to call off the wedding."
Greg's eyes widened. "Okay." My older-younger brother pretended he was cracking a whip and Greg looked over at him as though he'd just grown another head. "You're just jealous that I'm marrying your sister and you're not."
At this point, I could no longer contain myself and broke out laughing. I'd already started laughing at various points in the conversation, much to Brad's confusion, but this was a round of full-blown side splitting laughter that literally brought tears to my eyes. Once I'd gotten ahold of myself, I wiped my eyes.
"At least I'm marrying a kid with a sense of humor," I commented. Then, realizing that my mother was tapping on her watch, her 'secret' signal that she needs the phone for something, Brad and I exchanged goodbyes and I hung up.
Greg looked at me. "Who was that?" he asked. "You're not cheating on me already, are you, my darling?"
"Sorry," I answered with a smile and a shrug of my shoulders, "I thought you knew!" That said, I turned on my heel and started to climb the stairs. "Oh," I called back, "when do you plan on taking me ring shopping? I'm expecting nothing less than five karots, you know, and I mean 'karots' with a k."
"For someone who loves to receive twenty-five cent jewelry straight out of a vending machine more than anything else in the world, you sure have become high maintenance," my father commented, overhearing this bit of the conversation.
I only smiled and walked away.
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Date: 2004-01-23 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-01-24 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-24 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-23 08:57 pm (UTC)And yet I wonder why your brother told me in a very depressed voice that you no longer existed...
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Date: 2004-01-23 09:03 pm (UTC)I no longer exist??? When did that happen? Why didn't anyone TELL me???
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Date: 2004-01-23 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-12-30 03:57 am (UTC)That should be quoted for all time xD
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Date: 2005-12-30 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-12-30 04:21 am (UTC)